Who Am I? Ch.5

Heeellooo ~

I am so sorry that i didnt post a chapter for a week i think, but i swear you dont know how busy i was. I traveled and couldnt take my laptop, i needed a break from the laptop. You dont know how many projects, speeches, and questions ive solved on this thing. Gosh, and now im acctually doing my Chemistry, Computer and Englosh project which is due first day i come back from this "vacation".


I wanted to post since i promised one of my friends on Twitter ill post today, even though i had to lie and say im studying , well, its not a complete lie , i am multitasking :c.


Anyways, i dont want to make this so long .. enjoy the chapter <3


@Blogger_16

www.ask.fm/Blogger16

-Sara<3

______________



Wow. Im such an idiot. Why did i tell Abdallah i had a boyfriend? Omg. God take me.


I closed my eyes for 30 seconds then opened them and saw Abdallah standing infront of me, with his face emotionless.



Clara: Abdallah, i dont want anyone to know about this.


Abdallah: I wont, but who is he?


Clara: Someone, forget that i even told you, i dont want anyone to know about all this.


I ran out of class and went to my second class. I was so worried, i was so lost, i couldnt think straight. I didnt want anyone to know, since my cousins are with me in the school, i dont want them to know and come tell my parents, i really didnt want them to come add up lies, since they already hate me.


I went to my class, with the books of my other class :)!



Teacher: Clara, honey, we have English now not Math, please go get the right books.



Class: *giggles*



I left the room, got my books and went back to class, there was no empty seat other than a seat next to a boy called Kareem. He was Saudi too. He always made fun of me , i had no idea why. I sat down, and realized next to Kareem sat Abdallah :)! Yaay me!



I didnt feel like laughing, but i had to fake it.


All of a sudden ...


Kareem: Clara , are you okay? :)


WOW! Today is such a weird day, he's asking ME if im okay?!

Clara: Yeah i am thankyou!

-



Finally the day was over, i ran out, and saw Mesh3al's car outside. He was standing there giving me his back, it showed that he was talking to someone but i couldnt see who since i was very far, as i came closer, i could hear them talk... but still he couldnt see me.



Someone: Mesho , i love you, i really do.

It was a girl's voice, it was very familiar.


Mesh3al: I love you way more baby.


Baby? Yuck!


Girl: But what will we do about Clara ?


CLARA?!


Mesh3al: Ill talk to her soon baby dont worry <3.



I then walked slowly to them, i really wanted to know who the girl is. I came closer and saw

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Dana.


Dana saw me , and she got so red. Mesh3al was nervous it showed.



Clara: Oh, hi Dana, how come you know my brother?


Dana: Oh, ahh, this is your brother? I never knew, i just came to ask for........ *she looked lost and wanting to search for an excuse*


Mesh3al: TISSUES.



Clara: Heheh, okay did you take some?


Dana: SOme what?



Clara: Tissue *i laughed at the way she was shy and nervous*



Mesh3al: Lets go Clara.


-


We stopped infront of the house. I didnt tell Mesh3al that i heard him, i wanted him to come tell me.

So i went to my room, showered then drifted to sleep <3.


 

Who Am I ?Ch.4

Heeey heeey heeeeeey c: !
How are youu? I hope you are doing fine xx
My story is going to be fully english <3

By the waaay, i am waiting for your thoughts or questions here!

I answer personal questions too <3, and im here for all of you out there who need someone to talk too <3

www.ask.fm/Blogger16
@Blogger_16

~Sara<3

 

__________________________________

 

I woke up the next day with a great smile on my face. I love waking up in the room that is in Riyadh. I don’t know why but its so comfy and cozy. I never felt this way when I woke up back in America. Anyways, I gazed a bit into my red ceiling and smiled, I kept on thinking and imaging some things. It as Friday, I never knew in Saudi Arabia Friday is the weekend. I got up looked at the mirror, my hair was a mess and my face was yellow, I just smiled to myself, cause I remember once Frank made fun of how I looked :’). 

I went and took a shower, wanting the hot water to wash away all that hair spray and extra mascara that smudged since I slept in it. Annie and I were playing with makeup that’s why , haha, she made me look like a ghost :’).. After 10 mins of showering, I got out and decided to wear:

 

I am the kind of girl who likes getting dressed from the beginning of the day in something comfy and comfortable but still nice. My family is the most randomest people ever, people come visit us and I don’t even know so I end up sitting with them in my pjs that’s why I get dressed before I leave my room. And im at home, no one is going to tell me anything like my shorts are too short ;).

I braided my hair into a loose braid and applied a little mascara and chapstick and went downstairs.

 

I said good morning to my parents then opened the fridge got nutella out and started eating it.  My brother, Mesh3al was having breakfast, he is 20 years old, he's older than i am. He is not that close to me but we are fine i guess.


I sat with Mesh3al and we decided to chat..

Mesh3al: Haaa ? Hows school?


Clara: Its fine :)


Mesh3al: How are you doing in it ?


Clara: Im doing fine


Mesh3al: Clara dont finish the nutella you fatass ! *joking around*


Clara:  Mesh3al, go die :)


Mesh3al: Look your face is too chubby stop eating!


Mesh3al is hot, he has a very mascular body, all my friends back in America tried to hit on him.


Clara: Aha go die please !


Mesh3al: You repeated that twice *he laughed*



Clara: Its how bad i want you to die! =D

-

After hours we went out with the family then came back i went to bed directly, i was excited for school i dont know why =)).




-

In school..


I was going to class when this boy called Abdallah, he is with me in class. He falied a year , hes tall , fat, but very nice.


Abdallah: Ohh you look so pretty today, Clara :D


Clara: Thankyou! *i blushed so much!!*


Abdallah: Tst7een ?


Clara: Ana ? Shda3waaa, no wayyy !


Abdallah: Then why is your face so red?



Clara: Kaifaa shtaby feeh int ? *i laughed and walked away*



It was too embarrassing to stand there and see Abdallah giving me comments !


I went to the class and sat at the back of the class, Noor infront of me, cause we always sit and giggle together. There was an empty seat next to me, Abdallah came and sat there and smiled to me, i smiled back.



Abdallah: I love your smile !



WOWWWW, WHATS UP WITH HIM?!




Clara: Thankyou? *red cheeks again*



Abdallah: Hahaha your cheeks are red again!



Clara: Yeah, its hot. *i got pissed how he kept mentioning it*



Abdallah: Its fine you look even cuter when you are shy !



Clara: Hahaha thanks i guess ?



Noor gave me a look like , WHATS HAPPENING??? And she laughed!



I whispered "I DONT KNOW" and laughed it out !!!




-


The rest of the day Abdallah would keep on giving me complements gosh, what the fuck was up with this dude? If Frank finds out he'll murder me and him!


-


Weeeks passed and Abdallah is still the same, one day in Math class he was sitting next to me again :) !!!


I was talking to Noor and Dana about flowers and some other random things, when Abdallah pokes me and goes like...



Abdallah: Ill get you a rose !


Clara: Ha ? Why?! I wont take it anyways *i laughed wanting to make it less awkward*



Like what the hell?!!! He's listening to our convos and wants to give me flowers now?!



Abdallah: Why not?!



TRINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.



Gosh, the bell! Thank God ! But Abdallah was still looking at me wonderingly wanting me to answer ! I waited for Noor and Dana to leave then i looked at him and said



Clara: Cause i have a boyfriend !







 

 

Not Everyone..

Not Everyone is going to love you..

Not Everyone is going to understand you..

Not Everyone will find you beautiful..

Not Everyone will believe in you...

Not Everyone will look at you the way you look at yourself..

Not Everyone will be friendly, or real with you..


Not Everyone is going to see the pretty soul you have..

Not Everyone will find you good enough..

Some might even find you more than good enough..



Not Everyone.... </3.



__________


I just felt like typing something. I hope you liked it.

www.ask.fm/Blogger16

@Blogger_16


~Sara<3
 

Who Am I ? Ch.3

Heey :)
Im sorry i didnt post for a while, but i have school thats why i could only post on Fridays. I hope you like the chapter..

This story is fully fictional.

-Feedback on:

www.ask.fm/Blogger16
@Blogger_16

~Sara!
______________________



My heart was hitting my chest very quick, i know she wont say he's cheating on me, i trust him and i know he loves me...


Annie: Frank is...


Clara: Annie you scared the creeps out of me, what happened?


Annie: He's missing you HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ! You should've seen the look on your face! *and she laughed so hard*


Clara: ANNNIEEEEEEE I HATE YOU :@ *i jumped on her and started hitting her "playfully"*


After we were done we kept on laughing =)).

We gossiped about everything =))! I love Annie :')

We watched a movie called "Wild Hogs" , it was very funny!

Annie decided to sleep over so we could swim tomorrow morning or go out.



At like 12 we both drifted to sleep after chatting, eating, drinking and well talking about Frankie :')<3.


Next morning, we woke up and wore our bikini's. The pool is in my house so we could wear whatever we like.

 Annie's bikini.

 My bikini.

 

 

 

 

 

We kept on laughing and jumping and doing whateevr funky things you think offf :')!

 

After a couple of hours it was 3 we got out of the pool and went to take our cozy showers so we could go out to the mall.

 

 

 

Our Outfits:

 

 

 

I wore this.

Annie wore this.

 

 

 

 

I thought we looked pretty, specially with that glow cause we tanned. I added thick mascara and pink plumed lips, and a little blusher.

 

 

 

 

 

-

We went to "Riyadh Gallery" it was an interesting mall. It was fun i guess. We shopped alot, and ate and watched a movie. Then my phone vibrated, i was added to my class's BBM group.

I accepted.



They all chatted with me, it was fun i guess. Then i got a BBm request from "Zaid". I didnt know who that was so i just accepted.



Zaid: Heey (:


Clara: Hi ?


Zaid: Its me Zaid :D


Clara: Who?


Zaid: I sit next to you in Math class ;p


Clara: Oh.. I dont remember ...


Zaid: Uhm, its fine..


Clara: Anyways , Bye :)


And i deleted him before he could say anything! I didnt want any guys on my list, its bad enough they have my BB pin <.< !


-

We went home, had dinner and then Annie left , then i drifted to sleep :')<3
 

Who Am I ? Ch.2

BEEP BEEP BEEP.

Ughh, i thought to myself, that was my alarm. I need to get up and go to Hell (school). I pressed on "Snooze" and went back to bed. After a while, my mother came "CLARA ! YOU ARE STILL NOT UP?! C'MON THE BUS IS GOING TO LEAVE!". I got up, ran to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and then wore my uniform. I stood infront of the mirror, i had puffy eyes from crying, i added a little blush, curled my lashes applied a coat of mascara and transparent Labello. I apply mascara for confidence, i feel better when i have mascara on. I left my hair down, since my hair is wavy naturaly i just pined back my bangs, grabbed my bag and ran to the bus.


In the bus, i opened my BB and texted Frank. He already sent me :Good Morning<3, How are you?<3. Yes, there is time difference, but he wakes up just to say Gm and goes back to sleep :'). We talked for 30 mins, then i reached school. Phones arent allowed in schools, so i had to say bye.


I went to class, i know a couple of girls out of my class, i said Hi hugged them then went to my Homeroom class.

Dana: Oh Hi Clara *she smiled* You look like you just woke up *laughs*


Aha, why did you have to say that infront of everyone? :)


Clara: Hi *fake smile* Hahaha, cause i really did just wake up.


I grabbed a chair and sat next to her, but Dana was giving me mean comments that i didnt get. She was nice what happened?

A girl came and sit with us, Dana gave me her back and sat with Amal, and i was sitting there all alone, just hearing laughs all around the class. I put my head on the table and started thinking, and thinking and thinking, tears might have fell but i didnt care, i needed to cry so badly.



The class was done, i wiped my face and went, i noticed that Dana and another girl called Noor noticed i was crying, but i didnt care really.


Noor is a tall girl, has curly black hair, short one, she is really nice, and i hope she doesnt have mean comments like Dana. Noor was lebanese.



It was break, i didnt feel like sitting with anyone, everytime i sit with anyone or talk to anyone, my eyes would get filled with tears, and they'd say "Why are your eyes watery, whats wrong?" Id say "No its probably from the lenses" And try to brush it off.

In that moment i needed Frank so badly, i needed his comfy chest to cry on, i wanted his shoulder to cry on, i missed him.

Anyways, in the last 5 mins of break i went and sat with the class, they were like "Where were you Clara? Are you okay?"


TRINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG.


The bell saved me from answering, i just ran off to my next class, went and got my book from the locker and sat in class. My eyes kept tearing, then Dana asked me "Clara, Whats wrong?"


Clara: Nothing is *i faked a smile tears kept coming*


Dana: No no Clara tell me


Clara: Its nothing, just please leave me alone


Dana: No tell me


I then collapsed, i put my head on the table and started crying so hard silently not wanting to attract attention though i knew everyone knows i am crying, i put my head up wiped my tears, then a guy who sits next to me called Ahmed asked me "Clara are you okay?" Me: Yeah i am :)


I got up asked for permission to go to the bathroom , i ran off and entered one of the stalls and cried cried cried like there is no tomorrow, when i need to cry i cant keep it in i have to cry. I got up went washed my face, wiped it , then Dana came..


Dana: Whats wrong Clara?


Clara: I am just tired.


Dana: Are you sure?


Clara: Yeah. Does everyone know i am crying?


Dana: Yep.


Clara: Did they say anything?


Dana: No


Clara: Good :) ! I hate people seeing me cry *faked a smile*



We went back to class, i was greatfull that no one said anything, after class Noor and Amal asked me if i was okay, i said yeah.



-

I went back home, threw myself on my bed and cried, i needed Frank so badly. I opened my phone and saw that he sent me adorable texts :'(<3


Stuff like : I miss you , i love you, come back to me, baby i need you, your my life, and some other stuff <3<3


I cried more after seeing these messages, i replied back he answered directly. We chatted then he went to bed since he likes naps.


The whole day went fine after that. I had to go to school tomorrow.


-

The next day was better i didnt cry, i kind of was happy, i talked to everyone, laughed from my heart and well lived. It wasnt that bad, i know ill get used to it, but you know it takes time :/.


I went home did my regular routine, slept, and thats how it was for the rest of the week.



-


It was the weekend finally, Annie was coming from America, i cant wait i swear :').


We went to the Airport and waited for her, she came and thats when we ran and hugged each other. Annie makes me so happy, shes 1 year older than me i love her <3.


We said our Hellos and went home.. <3<3


When we were in my room Annie said..


Annie: Clara, i want to tell you something, but please dont be sad or cry...


Clara: Okay ?


Annie: Frank is.....

Who Am I? -Ch.1

There i was , sitting in one of the chairs in school. My face in my hands, crying silently. I hid my tears perfectly, i learned how to cry slowly too. I faked a smile, and i tried to move on. I keeped crying and crying for mostly the whole class. It was a free class. I was a new girl, it was my third day, the first 2 days i tried my best not to cry, and i didnt. I faked laughs, smiles, and well, happiness. Then i couldnt, i am from the kind of person who , if they need to cry they have too. My new classmates were acctually really nice, but they werent my old friends. They werent my best friend, and i know they wont be.

This is the second time i change schools since we moved here, im in the 10th grade. My name is Clara. I am half Saudi, and half American. I have long/medium brown hair, dark brown eyes, cheeky face, and well, every other character like any human. I have 1 brother, his name is Jamal. We lived in America all my life, i was so happy. But my parents said, we need to come back to Riyadh. I lived in Riyadh for a couple of months when i was a kid. That was it. My parents said we need to be back. My mother turned Muslim el7amdella. She wears the Hijab too. I go to an American School though, a mixed school.


 TRIIIIIIIIIIING.

The bell stopped my train of thoughts, and alarmed me that it was time to wipe my tears and fake a smile. I quickly wiped them, carried my bag and stood up when a girl, Dana, said: "Clara, why are you so quiet? Why didnt you sit with us?" and she smiled. Dana was a really tall girl, who had really long hair, she was boney, and she wore glasses, she was cute, and nice. She was the first one who talked to me on the first day of school. "Oh, i was just tired" I said. I hate it when i have to lie, and fake a smile. But i had too. I faked a smile, held my head up, and well moved on :).



The day passed by. I went back home finally. I had lunch, i know food could change my mood on anything. Since my friend Annie isnt with me anymore, but i could see Annie every weekend cause she used to come to Riyadh every week, her dad is Saudi too. Annie is 1 year older than me, she is the sweetest person ive seen, ive always had best friends before, but like her i didnt find. Many people said we looked alike, haha, i miss her. She has long black hair, a chubby face like mine, dark brown eyes, and well a sexy body but she has a tummy.


I ate then went on my blackberry and texted my baby.


Clara/Life Sucks:):


Baby im back!


Frank/Missing You</3:


I miss you so much, school is horrible without you come back please :(



Frank, is my boyfriend. Or should i say my life, i love him so much, he is so nice, he is as old as i am ! His birthday is before me in 1 week only, i remember on my last birthday he got be a diamond necklace, i met him in America. He is pruely American. But he learned Arabic for me. He's Muslim, he's tall, has black hair, black eyes, and tanned body.



Whenever i talked to him id cry, i miss him so much...

I chatted with him for a while then went to sleep ready to go to Hell tomorrow :)

-


Hey, i am back! I am going to type whenever i felt like it :D ! I missed writing thats why im back :$


www.ask.fm/Blogger16

@Blogger_16


-Sara<3

A Fresh Start Ch.24 (The end)

Heey..





LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA2222 !!! MAMAAAA LAAAA222 !!!!


Me: Baba, what kind of jokes are these? Yalla 3a6ny omi



Dad: Ta3aly mustashfa *******



Me: BABA 3A6NY OMY!



Dad: Ta3aly w kalmeeha !



I raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan out of starbucks and took a cab to the hospital , i asked for the room. I went to them.. Obooy kan ga3d y9eey7 silently, w Rashood kan ga3d jamba y9eee7 so hardd w y5ab6 fl arth!!!



Me: Wein omy?!



Baba was silent.


Me: ANA GLTLK WEIN OMY?!


Dad: Yuba, ed3eelyha *he cried again*


I crashed down. I couldnt hold this in anymore, 7yati kelhaaa 5ara eb 5ara !!!!!! :)



ME: WADOOOOOOOOOONY 3ND OMY!!!! AHHHHHHH ABI OMYY *crying* OMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MAMAAAAAAAAA GOOOMY!!! YGOOLON TARAKTEENY HNY ALONE!!!!! MAMAAAAA TA3AALLYYYY BSR3AAA !!! MAMAAAA YALLLAAAAA WNKKKK !!! *crying and shouting*


Doctor: QUICK QUICK IVE HER SOMETHING THATS GANA CALM HER !

They came and carried me, gave me a shot and  i closed my eyes..



I opened them, to find myself in the room, with a drip in my hand, w maska yad Rashood.


I coughed, i drank water


Me: Babaa


Dad: Ha amal are you ok?


Me: Wadoony 3nd mama abi ashufha...


Dad: Omk matat Amal *tears fell*



Me: Bashufha le a5er marra yuba :'(!!!!!!!!!!



Dad: Gomy awadeek... *tears fell akeed*


They took me took me to this cold room, that had "dead people" in :)</3 !


I said.. Please leave me alone with her shway...



They did..



Amal: Mama, 7ata wnty shaklk ta3ban w fhal 7ala 7elwa, jamalk mu 6abee3y, jamal galbk, jamal a5lagk, jamal wajhk, mama laish r7ty ? This is too early yuma, i need you by my side yuma, nasety iny shabehtk al 9ageera? Yuma laish ya 7abebty inty?  Ana adri ink 3aysha bas tmathleen 3alay 9a7? Yalla yallah goomy 3ad, nkta sa5eefa *i pushed her hand slowly* yalla yuma ga3da ant'herk , matabeen enroo7 Starbucks methel kel youm??  Yalla 7abebty  yuma goomy, please mamaaa ! *i fell on the ground and my eyes started dripping tears* Tara mama hay lnekta 9arat very lame, w inty t3rfeen tmathleen 5ala9 yala goumy !! Mama, ya3ny matabeen tgoumeen? Wallah a54thk LV ajeeblk kl shai, jama3t floos kether bas 3shan ajeeb hadya lek</3. Mama *sniffs* Please latetrkeeny la7aly yumaaa.. We need you mama, i need you mostly mama :'(!!!!!!! AHHHH YUMAAA A555 LAISH R7TYYYY W SEBTEENY F,HAL 7YAT L7ALY !! ;'(



I stayed there for hours, crying and trying to wake up my mom. No use :).



A week passed i kept crying, and crying, radet elbait, bas ma2akl wala shai.


We decided to go back and live in Riyadh. R7na w dafanaa omy.


-


Kl youm aroo7 akalmha 3ala asas inha ga3da tetb5 lena, aw ga3da etsare5. Sawet everything omy kanat tabeeny asaweeh...



Me holding her picture..

Me: Mamaaa shuufy i arranged my room klha ALONE. Masa3adatny lmaid aw Rashood 7ataaa, yallah ta3aly goolyly sha6raa, w goolyly inha mu natheefa 3shan i do it again yallah 7abebty *tears*


We stayed like this, i stayed like this, my dad didnt get married, he loved my mother. I quite smoking, i study again bs 3shan omy tefra7 feeny. Tala stayed by my side, matetrekny la7aly.

Ana akalm omy kl youm all the time, sa3at adg 3ala hatefha, afta7 lconvo w atkaalaaam.


Ymkn tgooloon 3any majnona, bs mara7 tefhamoon ela lama etjarboon shnw ya3ny you loose your MOM. Its not like loosing your boyfriend or even girlfriend. El om 3'air...



I was once thinking, What happened in the past year? I thought it was going to be a Frest Start, bas to be it wasnt... I keep asking myself this question over and over and over...



Was this a fresh start or a tragedic ending? ....









-



Heeeeeeeeeeey again! :D


I finished the story, i know it wasnt the best endings, but i wanted you to see, how some people change from friends, how they get influenced, how boys could do horrible things to girls, how if you once were fighting with your mom w glty : ANA AKRHK. Ebtendameen 3shan you could loose her.
Friends arent always good, w kl shay allah yktebah lazem ey9eer...

Im sorry etha 5alet anyone y9eey7 from the ending, cause i did :)</3 !! BAROO7 ALM OMY!!! :'(


Im sorry if i was rude aw shai! If i was a bad blogger asfa too!!! :D


As for a new story, i might do one, bas not now i guess <3...


Im keeping my Twitter account <3

Contact me on:-

*Twitter: @Blogger_16
* www.ask.fm/Blogger16
*Your comments make me glad ! :D



Tell me what you thought please ! <3


Good luck~Stay Strong<3<3
Sara:D.

A Fresh Start- Ch.23

Heeey! :D


Inshallah y3jbkm el post ! :D

Contact me on:-

*Twitter: @Blogger_16
* www.ask.fm/Blogger16
*Your comments make me glad ! :D

_________________


A plate fell and broke. Shit.

Manager: AMAL! I AM REMOVING 5 DOLLARS OF TODAYS MONEY FOR BREAKING THIS AND BEING CARELESS.


Me: It was an accident i swear!!


Manager: I dont care you fucked up Muslim!


I plugged in my headphones, cleaned the mess and cried. Rasict much?! He was 50 years old, and "fucked up". What killed me is i cant answer back :)!!


The day went so slowly. I took 13 dollars only today !! :( Im going to search for jobs and more money.

-

Next day was sunday, i had an off day. I went and searched for shops, i saw offers on mopping the ground and cleaning tables for 5 dollars per hour, but it was till 12. Well, its near my house i could go walking, and they paid me better.


I stayed in Macdonalds for the rest of the week then went to the other resturant.


First day was better here than in Macdonalds, i made sure to stay focused, and not tear :).


When i went home, my phone was ringing, i looked at the number, it was from these phone boxes in the streets...

I wondered if it was James or not.. I answered...



Me: Alo

...: Amal

Me: MAMA !!!!!!!! *i teared up*


Mama: 7abebty weink? Ana 5ayfa 3alk wayd, tamnyny 3ank, takleen? tnameen? wein ga3da 7abebty? I missed you alot *cries*


Me: Mama 7abebty, lat5afy 3alay, im good w el 7amdella, ga3da f, hotel, ashte3'el, i missed you too yuma, allah y5aleek take care of yourself!


Mama: Obook 7as fel thanb, yabeek tredeen, yuma


Me: La asfa yuma, magdar, 6aradny mn baity laish ared? w elmshkla inty ele ga3da tgoolyly hal kalam, i4a yabeeny 5alyh yete9el y3rf ragamy :)


Mama: Okaay 7abebty 3shani! Ana bageely fatra galeela, abi ashufk yumaa *she cried*


Me: Shh-shnw yumaaaa !!! Latgoooly hal kalam marra thanyaaa!! Inty bet3eeysheen yumaaa !!! *criess hardly* Yumaaaa abi ashufk ba3ad, i missed you!!!! abi agoolk kalam kether, abi agoolk kel shay f,galby, zman mafadfadt le a7ad yumaaa, allah y5aleek latseebeny w troo7eeen *cries*



Mama: Amoola, bkra ashufk in Starbucks at 10 am , lazem ashufk yuma!! A7bk 7abebty, yalla take care ! *cries*



Me: Ana akthar yuma, inshallah <3


I cant wait for tomorrow to see my mother, fuck the job, omy aham insan f,7yati!!


I drifted to sleep, i was tired !


-


I called the resturant told them id come 12 they didnt mind, but i have to work them on sunday, i didnt mind, such a good manager.

I went to starbucks at 9:50. I entered the shop, music was blasting..


They had: Justin Bieber's As Long As You Love Me... Not a huge fan of him, but this song is so cute :') !!



I sat, ordered my mom's favorite, she came in. She looked pale, she had red eyes seemed like she was crying for ages, she had a hat on her hair, her hair seemed shorter, she looked so tired, she was wearing loads of clothes though it was hot, my mom looked terribely bad, and sick. I never saw her like this, seeing her like this breaks my heart, tears filled my eyes, i got up and hugged her soooo tight and started crying!

Me: Maaaaaaaaaammaaaa laish shaklkkk ta3baan?! Mammaaaa take care of your selve allah y5aleeek!!!!



Mama: Kaifk Amoola? *she smiled, a tired smile*



Me: Mamaaa, esh 9ayr ma3ak?!!! :'(



Mama: I have cancer in my blood, they couldnt cure me, some day im leaving, it seems really close... My hair *she pointed at it* fell, i cut some of it, i am getting chemo therapy, i am hoping to get better, ad3i rabi 6ool el wagt , allah kareem :).



Me: *i kept crying* Mama, dont leave me allay y5aleeek, inty 7yati kelha, ana 7mara w 3'abeya za3altk f,7yatk ktheerrr, yuma allah y5aleek tukfeeen 5alk ma3ay, dont give up, 3shani w 3shan rashood, mama please *criessssssssssss soooooooooo damn hard*



Mama: Bas ya bnty 5ala9 ga6a3ty galbi, klna fl a5eer bnmoot hay senat el 7yat, ana bs ely thab7ny ene batrk rashood w abook w inty la7alkm f,hal 7yat. *cries*



Me: Mamaaa you wont die now, ana mab5aleek mama!! wallah ma2a5aleek!!!! YARAAAAB 54NY  ETREK OMI!!! MAGDAR A3EEESH BEDONHAAAA*I cried!! I was shouting loudly, everyone looked at me*


Mama couldnt do anything but cry and cry and cry!

I hugged her so tight and cried in her arms like a baby...


Me: Mamaa who will keep my secrets?! Whos gana shout at me?! Meeen bygooly latetkalameen f,hal 6areee8a !! mamaaaaaaa you cant go , mama please please get better !!! *i cried so hard*



I stayed with my mother, and cried for hours, and hours and hours, we decided to see each other daily law for 1 hr, shes gana come to the resturant i work in to see me, she offered money, she told me go to school, or even come live with her, bas magdrt.

-

Months passed way in this exact same way, everytime i'd see my mom id tell her everything. One day i went to Starbucks for our meetup, she didnt come, she was late for 30 mins, i was worried i called her phone no answer. Called my dad....


Dad: Aloo Amaaal *his voice was soooo tired*



Me: Maamaa wain yuba?!



Dad: Ena lelah wa2ena elayh rajee3on.

A Fresh Start. Ch.22

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Mom: Ibrahim, calm down 5ala9 please *cries*


I hugged mama..


Amal: Mama jad 3ndk cancer?!!!! *swallowing the lump in my throat*


Mom: Eeee *cries*


Amal: Mama mnn matta?!


Mom: Since we were in Riyadh, i had to get treatment, bs maknt abi a5awfkom fa glna 7ag your dad's work, bs it became very serious so kan lazem ingool lkm *cries very hard*



Dad: Yalla ya kbeera, abeek tejma3een a3'rathk w tetle3een men elbait, esh drany ymkn ta5deen drugs ba3ad...


Amal: Babaa *crying* asfa,, bas kl my friends galooly smoke fa i tried it baba walla asffa *i cry*


Dad: Ru7y 3'rftk w collect your things mabeeek in my house ! *he was furious*


I ran to my room and started crying, this is horrible, akeed its a night mare! The worst 2 weeks of my life esh 9ayr?! Flashbacks hit me and tries came even more. Then knowing that i might loose my mom killed me, i always thought my mom was going to be next to me, bas knowing she is near death scared me. Me and my mom have been best friends, yes she screams at me and sometimes i say stuff i dont mean, bs knowing that i wont hear her screams every day kills me...</3

After all that, i dont have a house either, i collected my things really quickly and left the house without saying goodbye to anyone.



-


I had a little amount of money in my wallett i had about 500 $ , i am from the kind of girl who saves money incase anything ever happens, and i had my credit card, thank god my dad put my allowence in it last week, i went to the bank asked for them to give me all the money which was in my card.


I have 1200 $. I started searching for hotel rooms, they were to expensive, i didnt have any friends to go to, but "James".  I brushed away that thought, i roamed around for hours, then decided to go to a park and sit for a while.


I tweeted: Cheap hotels in California?


My phone ringed, and it was an unknown number..



Me: Hello...

...: Hi


i know this voice, i know it well, my eyes were filled with tears. It was James.


Me: What do you want?


James: There is my house, cheapest hotel alive..


HOW DID HE KNOW?! I BLOCKED HIM!


Me: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNO? LEAVE ME ALONE! I DONT WANA SEE YOUR FACE!


I hung up..


He sent me a message:

Try this hotel : ********* Hotel. Very cheap.



I wonder why he is still helping me. I went to that hotel, it was so cheaaap, it looked cheap! Its 50$ per week! That was a great price!!

I went to my room, opened the door and saww..

Walls with crackings, it seemed like there "white" (which seemed black from dirtyness to me) was falling, the bed was one of these wooden ones, it was on the ground, it didnt have any metals to push it up. It smelled so disgusting, the blanket was scary, and the pillow was ruined, the bathroom had these bathrooms that are on the ground, no no not flush, the ones on the ground and has a hole in it :)!!


I couldnt leave, this was the cheapest thing. Well, thankgod i got my blanket and pillow.

I sighed and said "Mm, well this is my new house" Tears started to fall so much, i couldnt resiste it, i am not strong, i am weak, i am so weak. I cant hold my body anymore, ana t3bt mn el 7yat hathy, wsh ele sar feeny?!!!!

I sat on that bed, looked around and cried harder and harder! Then remembered my mother, wwwooooowww, i cried moreeeeee, mama is gana leave me?!! i couldnt handle this anymore !!


I was alarmed by my stomach making voices, great im hungry. I ordered pizza, i used 10 $ only not wanting to waste my money, i put my phone on the charger, ate and went to bed.

-


I decided to drop out of school, i need to search for jobs, i need to get money so i could live. If i have no money ill be homeless =). I know my dad, he's stubborn, he loves me, but wont change his mind.


I wore a shirt and a pair of jeans, and ran to search for jobs. I checked in resturants to wash dishes or even clean grounds, i was desprite for work.

I got accpted in Macdonalds to wash dishes, 2 dollors per hour :)</3!! I stayed till 11 working there, it means i collected 22 $ i got with 5 dollars ciggarets, and the rest was hidden, i went home and slept.

-


The next day i went to work again, with every dish i washed, tears dropped. I wasnt used to this, i really wasnt. I hated my new life. I hate the new me. I have no family, nor friends.


Ive always wanted to be a Lawyer, guess im gana be a dish washer than a lawyer.


I was thinking and thinking and thinking when

SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH.

A Fresh Start. Ch.21

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Short post, yet really important <3

3rd chapter !:D
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_________


James point of view...

I saw them carrying my AMAL. What do they want from her !?


James: Liza, why did you bring her here?!


Liza; My sister told you, make her hate her life, not become stronger than before, you know if you didnt she could tell everyone about you ...


James: Listen, you bitch, dont forget i have something over your sister k?! Leave Amal !


Liza: If your going to ruin her life now then sure ;*


I ran too Jason, took Amal from her put her on the sofa, then went and kicked them all out....

I needed to wake her up..

I started shaking her, calling her name, threw a little water on her face..  she coughed then opened her eyes...



Amal's point of view...


I opened my eyes, saw James looking at me with worried eyes...


Amal: HEEELPP HELPPP !!!


He placed his hand over my mouth and said : Shhhhh !!! Amal we need to talk !!


Amal: You were about to rape me and you wana talk?! *my eyes got teary*


James: Ill explain... *he looked at the floor*


Amal: Im listening :)


James: Amal *sigh* I love you, i really do, bas i couldnt control myself asf.. i take drugs... I was threatened by Laura if i dont ruin your life shes going to tell everyone..



Amal: Sawet kel hatha 3ala 7saby?! E6LA3 BARRA 7YATI ANA MABEEK! *i was super hurt*


James: I am sorry amal please !


Amal: I want you out of my life from this second, mabi achoofk fahm?! I smoke now because of that thing one of your bitches made me smoke k?! You couldve told you and i made you stop, bs now, go to fucking hell !~


With that, i ran out and went home.


-


I am home now, i am sitting in my bed, music playing, i was trying to think everything through, i wanted to get back on track of my life.


The next day i didnt feel like school, after i knew everything i still stayed the same. I was getting out of my room when i heard my parents talking...


Dad: Esh bnsawy? Esh bengool 7ag Rashid w Amal?


Mom: *crying* Madri , madriii *crying*


Dad: We need to tell her soon..



I went to them, but didnt tell them anythng about what i heard, i ignored it, but part of me was curious...


Amal: Ana ba6la3


Dad: Where?


Amal: Atmasha.


Dad: Mafi.


Amal: Baba shway ! *i needed ciggarets*


Dad:Okay bs ebsr3a.


I went and got ciggarets, after about at hour someone said...



....: AMAL WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!


I turned around and saw my Rashid. My brother, who always said i was his role model, who always looked up to me, who said i was the best person in his eyes, who said i was the cleanest, who said i was a great sister. I was shocked, didnt know what to do.. I could spot tears in his eyes..


Rashid: Amal, wsh ga3da etsaweeen?


I threw the ciggarete on the ground, put it off with my shoes.


Amal: Uhh, mm , wala shai Rashood, int laish hny?


Rashid: Amal, inty etda5neen? *he cried*


Amal: La 7abiby i dont *i went to hug him*


He pushed me and said..

Rashid: INTY LA E5TY WALA A3RFK! ALL YOUR LIFE YOU GIVE ME ADVICES W SHOFI INTY WSH GA3DA ETSAWEEN!!

He ran off, he was 10 years old, but he was bright, i know when i get home, my life will be completly over. Rashid tells my mom everything, i ran after him. But he took shortcuts, he was faster than me. So he reached home before me..

I entered, saw everyone sitting on the sofa.

Amal: Salam*i looked at the ground*



Rashid got up and went to his room...


Mom: Ta3aly g3dy.

I went.


Dad: Rashid said you were smoking is that true?


Amal: *i looked at the ground*


Mom: Is it true?!


Amal: Yes.


Mom: Ibrahim, shft e7na f esh w heya f esh!


Dad: 7ASBEYALLAH WANE3MA AL WAKEEL! WHY DID YOU CHANGE WSH FI?!


Amal: Wala shai. bs ana 9rt kbera, w i4a abi ada5n hal shay yerja3ly


Dad: 9rty kbera ha?!


Amal: Eee..


Dad: 5ala9 then listen to this! 3shan inty kbeera ya3ny! Omk 3ndaha breast cancer, w you should get out of my house now!


CANCER?! I HAVE NO HOUSE?!?!

A Fresh Start. Ch.20

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This is a fictional story, from head to toe <3.

Second chapter !! :D
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_________


Days passed, i was still the same. Now teachers started calling my parents, telling them i've changed, and that i became bad...


Dad: Amal, esh 9ayr?! Why did you change?! *he was shouting*


Amal: I felt like it. *i was talking in brooda*


Mom: Kalmy obook 3adl


Amal: W i4a maby? :)


Dad: GIVE ME YOUR PHONE !


Amal: Take it, as if i care! *i took it out of my pocket threw it on the table infront of me and stood up to leave*


Dad: Ta3aly ta3aly, ana maglt 5ala9t kalam! *he yelled*


Amal: Bs ana 5ala9t ! *i gave him my back to leave when i felt his hand wrapped around my arm he flips me to face him and slaps me*


Dad: YOU HAVE NO MANNERS ANYMORE ! LAZEM ARABEEK ANA W OMK MNN AWAL W JDEEED ! 8SMAN BELLAH, ACT LIKE THIS WITH US AGAIN W ANA BARAWEEK SHAI , YOU WONT LIKE IT ! ROO7Y 3'RFTK !




I ran to my room, a tear didnt drop from my eyes, i locked my room, got the box of ciggarets from under my bed went to the balcony and started smoking, put on my headphones and gazed at the people and the roads. I couldnt get James out of my head. I miss him. I wanted to know why did he did this, but in the same time i hated him.


-

The next day, i went to school, i saw a group of guys smoking behind the school, i needed a ciggar. I went to them, there were 2 guys and a girl..


Amal: Hey


All: Hey


Amal: Can i have a ciggar?


One of the guys: Ohh the new girl smokes :o.


Girl: I am Stella, this is Jason, and this is Billy ...


Amal: I am Amal ... *i take a ciggar, placed it in my mouth and finished it in a matter of seconds*


Amal: Thanks alot, i needed it :)


Stella: Give me your pin? ;*


We shared pins, oddly i took the guys' pin too. I usually wouldnt add boys but i wanted too this time.


Amal: Ill accept you when i get my phone back, im grounded *i laughed*


Stella: Hahah, wana skip school with us?


Amal: Sure, what are we doing today?


Stella: You'll see *she winked*


Billy: Hay, lets take you to get a BB from a friend i know its so cheap u could use it in the mean while :D


Amal: That'd be great ! :D


Stella, Billy, and Jason looked really familiar.


-

We went to Billy's friend's, i took the phone, it was an old broken Curve, he took 10 dollars for it only, well i needed a phone so yeah :p.


Then we went on the bus, i was busy playing my phone, when we stopped, we walked around. Then here we are standing infront of the building i was in once before with James</3.



Amal: What are we doing here ? *i wanted to leave*


Billy: Come with us , its fun! *he pulled me from my wriste*


Amal: Leave me please !


FLashback....


They were the people from this appartment, but they looked way neater.




Amal: What did i do to you tell me leave me please!!



After seconds i could feel something on my nose, i tried to see what it was, it looked like a wet cloth, i inhaled something from that wet cloth, and everything went black.




James' point of view..


I never wanted this to happen, why did Laura have to find out? Why did she have to put me up to this? Amal, was my best friends, i had feelings for her too. I loved her, she started ignoring me, i could see how she became one of these druggies, i miss her, her smile, her hair, her shinny eyes, even her small fingers. I want one of her hugs now. Last time i saw her was when i carried her out of this building, i wanted to explain everything but she blocked me out of her life.


Amal, i need you.


Here i am standing, in the room, were i started kissing Amal, like a crazy druggy, i never acted this way with anyone after i changed,Amal got me out of my misreable life, she gave me my soul back, and now i lost her cause of my animal behavior, thanks to Laura :)..


When Amal kicked me in my balls, i was glad, i was glad she was going to run away, i was happy, but Liza stopped her.


I am here sitting alone all alone, ciggars thrown every were around me.


I hated this, after i got out of this shit im getting to it again?! :)


All of a sudden i heard the door getting unlocked, i went out, then i saw...



Jason carrying Amal, Liza behind him, and Jake too.

A Fresh Start. Ch.19

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_________

A week passed...


The whole week, i stayed home, but stopped the chocolate and icecream routine, tears are getting less by the days, i didnt talk to anyone for a week, i am using the silent treatment with everyone. My mom, my dad, my brother and Tala. James keeps talking to me on Twitter, DM's tweets mentions me, asks me, talks on facebook.


Without reading what he says i delete everything, a couple of times, id glance a little of the chat "Amal, i swear i was.....".  I didnt want to know what he did that, i was beyond hurt. I trusted him with myself , and he takes me to shiity places like this?! I told him everything in my life from A to Z.

I blocked him on Twitter, Ignored on BBm, Blocked on Facebook. Activated my ask! :)

How could he?!


I am now no lomger crying, i have anger, i want him out of my life.


-


Its the day i need to go to school. I got up, wore...

 

 



I wasnt in the mood for anything fancy, my face was pale, so i added blush, lipgloss, and went.


I entered my school, looking at the ground, headphones in my ears. Ignoring everyone, and there looks. Gosh, fuck you. Why do you have to stare?!


Went to my locker, bitch was there.



Laura: Ohh so you have decided to come ha ? *laughs in an evil way*



Amal: Laura, leave me alone :) !



laura: or what!?



Amal: Laura, i warned you, shutup :)!

I opened my locker, she slammed it !! :OOOOOOOO



Amal: DIDNT I TELL YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE!?! *i boxed her in the face :)*



A ms came and took us to the principles office. Guess who i saw there?


James. :)


He came too me...

James: Amal , please can we talk? *he looked worried, i missed him , i wanted to hug him but no way, i backed all my emotions and showed him a different fucked up amal :)*


Amal: I dont talk to assholes *i faked a smile, and entered*


Wow, i got a suspicion for 2 days! Yay weekend :D !


-

My parents were so angry, but for the first time, i didnt give a fuck.


Something was weird, i wanted that kind of ciggars that girl made me drink. I wanted it so badly.


When my parents were at work, id sneak out to the grocery shop, get 2 packs of ciggarets.

Id sit on the balcony, and drink all, but wont get that taste that i wanted, i know i didnt like how it tasted, but it calmed me down. Every week id drink 2 packs. Before my parents would come, idd shower, and wash my clothes.


They noticed something was wrong, me and my mom stopped being close at all. I became rude, so rude. My dad and i have endless fights. I hit my brother daily, he pisses me off. I just hit him.


I dont know what went wrong. I just wasnt ok.

-

After the suspicion was done, i didnt want to go to school, i didnt want to see any of these bitches or that asshole. I skipped school.


Id sit in Starbucks and smoke all day, before i went home, i would put perfume on me eat gum and go.


I know everything im doing was wrong, but i dont know why i was totally fine with all this.