BEEP BEEP BEEP.
Ughh, i thought to myself, that was my alarm. I need to get up and go to Hell (school). I pressed on "Snooze" and went back to bed. After a while, my mother came "CLARA ! YOU ARE STILL NOT UP?! C'MON THE BUS IS GOING TO LEAVE!". I got up, ran to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and then wore my uniform. I stood infront of the mirror, i had puffy eyes from crying, i added a little blush, curled my lashes applied a coat of mascara and transparent Labello. I apply mascara for confidence, i feel better when i have mascara on. I left my hair down, since my hair is wavy naturaly i just pined back my bangs, grabbed my bag and ran to the bus.
In the bus, i opened my BB and texted Frank. He already sent me :Good Morning<3, How are you?<3. Yes, there is time difference, but he wakes up just to say Gm and goes back to sleep :'). We talked for 30 mins, then i reached school. Phones arent allowed in schools, so i had to say bye.
I went to class, i know a couple of girls out of my class, i said Hi hugged them then went to my Homeroom class.
Dana: Oh Hi Clara *she smiled* You look like you just woke up *laughs*
Aha, why did you have to say that infront of everyone? :)
Clara: Hi *fake smile* Hahaha, cause i really did just wake up.
I grabbed a chair and sat next to her, but Dana was giving me mean comments that i didnt get. She was nice what happened?
A girl came and sit with us, Dana gave me her back and sat with Amal, and i was sitting there all alone, just hearing laughs all around the class. I put my head on the table and started thinking, and thinking and thinking, tears might have fell but i didnt care, i needed to cry so badly.
The class was done, i wiped my face and went, i noticed that Dana and another girl called Noor noticed i was crying, but i didnt care really.
Noor is a tall girl, has curly black hair, short one, she is really nice, and i hope she doesnt have mean comments like Dana. Noor was lebanese.
It was break, i didnt feel like sitting with anyone, everytime i sit with anyone or talk to anyone, my eyes would get filled with tears, and they'd say "Why are your eyes watery, whats wrong?" Id say "No its probably from the lenses" And try to brush it off.
In that moment i needed Frank so badly, i needed his comfy chest to cry on, i wanted his shoulder to cry on, i missed him.
Anyways, in the last 5 mins of break i went and sat with the class, they were like "Where were you Clara? Are you okay?"
TRINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG.
The bell saved me from answering, i just ran off to my next class, went and got my book from the locker and sat in class. My eyes kept tearing, then Dana asked me "Clara, Whats wrong?"
Clara: Nothing is *i faked a smile tears kept coming*
Dana: No no Clara tell me
Clara: Its nothing, just please leave me alone
Dana: No tell me
I then collapsed, i put my head on the table and started crying so hard silently not wanting to attract attention though i knew everyone knows i am crying, i put my head up wiped my tears, then a guy who sits next to me called Ahmed asked me "Clara are you okay?" Me: Yeah i am :)
I got up asked for permission to go to the bathroom , i ran off and entered one of the stalls and cried cried cried like there is no tomorrow, when i need to cry i cant keep it in i have to cry. I got up went washed my face, wiped it , then Dana came..
Dana: Whats wrong Clara?
Clara: I am just tired.
Dana: Are you sure?
Clara: Yeah. Does everyone know i am crying?
Dana: Yep.
Clara: Did they say anything?
Dana: No
Clara: Good :) ! I hate people seeing me cry *faked a smile*
We went back to class, i was greatfull that no one said anything, after class Noor and Amal asked me if i was okay, i said yeah.
-
I went back home, threw myself on my bed and cried, i needed Frank so badly. I opened my phone and saw that he sent me adorable texts :'(<3
Stuff like : I miss you , i love you, come back to me, baby i need you, your my life, and some other stuff <3<3
I cried more after seeing these messages, i replied back he answered directly. We chatted then he went to bed since he likes naps.
The whole day went fine after that. I had to go to school tomorrow.
-
The next day was better i didnt cry, i kind of was happy, i talked to everyone, laughed from my heart and well lived. It wasnt that bad, i know ill get used to it, but you know it takes time :/.
I went home did my regular routine, slept, and thats how it was for the rest of the week.
-
It was the weekend finally, Annie was coming from America, i cant wait i swear :').
We went to the Airport and waited for her, she came and thats when we ran and hugged each other. Annie makes me so happy, shes 1 year older than me i love her <3.
We said our Hellos and went home.. <3<3
When we were in my room Annie said..
Annie: Clara, i want to tell you something, but please dont be sad or cry...
Clara: Okay ?
Annie: Frank is.....
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