Why Cant I Live My Life My Way? Ch.24

Hello! How are you all? I got some feedback, that the way i wrote the previous chapter was better, in paragraphs, than conversations. It probably also makes it longer, and more stuff for you to read.  Its not a long post, but an intresting one! Dont forget to comment <3
Oh, by the way, the comments are now opened for Anomynous commenters too. I didnt know we had to open them, hehe, my bad x_x. Now please comment! The more comments i get the more i post ;).

Sorry that i am not posting daily, i've been busy lately, and i will be till after eid but im going to try my best to post every day, and if not every day then every other day <3.


Ohhh, why dont you guys give me a name for me. I wont say my real name, but i want a nickname :$ ! Because i hate people calling me 4y (@RawyaD-.-) !

Tip#2: Never chase anyone, be the one to be chased, that doesnt mean wait for people to run after you, i mean, if you are chasing them all the time, stop. They will start chasing you.


Contact me on:

-Twitter: @Blogger_16
-Ask.fm: www.ask.fm/Blogger16

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The next day i woke up with a severe headache, my pillow had a little mascara and my pink matte Mac lipstick smeared over it. I got up, looked in the mirror, i had my mascara smeared all over my eyes, and my lipstick all around my lips. I thought, wow i just slept not fought with anyone, but then again i do sleep like wrestlers. I laughed at my cuteness! I was so not in the mood for anything today, i was thinking so much last night, that i decided i need to fix some wrong desicions i did. I washed my face and teeth. Then i prayed, i usually dont pray. I know its bad, God is going to punish me, but i just forget too. I am busy with my life that i forgot some day i am going to be under the ground and will be punished severly by God. I thought to myself, i am going to start praying. I wont miss a prayer Inshallah. After i die, no one is going to help me with God, not Salih, not Abdallah, not even Hessa.



I stayed in my pjs, i fixed my bed then sat on it. I didnt check my Blackberry. I was not in the mood for it. I needed a break from everything. Specially Salih. Abdallah told me that Salih doesnt realise what i am worth. But seriously? Am i worth anything? Am i enough? Am i pretty enough? Am i thin enough? Am i clever enough? I new i wasnt enough. But i also did know that i deserve someone WAY better than Salih. I wanted to gain my confidence back. I really did. Everyday my thoughts would increase and increase. I knew and was very sure if i left Salih he is going to regret it. Yes i am pretty! I am pretty! I am enough for anyone! He just doesnt notice that! I am clever too! I know i am. Whenever he tells me you should change and be this or that. I get so hurt. Like people acctually beg me to give them chances and you here have the chance and hurt me ?! Huh.



I dont want you all saying, wow she is "shayfa nafs'ha", and no i am not telling you to run around saying i am pretty. No need for people to know what you are thinking off. Confidence is something that makes you feel better about yourself. I used to have alot big of confidence. Then i met Salih. Well, he really doesnt say anything about me. Bl 3aks, he says, that i am the prettiest girl he ever saw. He says i am beautiful, he says my body is very good, i shouldnt be even thinking of diets or even gyms. Yes. He does say some great things he isnt bad. but after talking to Abdallah yesturday i felt 2 things. One of them was GUILT. The other was no love for Salih.



Why was i feeling guilty? Because whenever your boyfriend or someone that means the world to you tells you not to do something and you do it you feel very guilty. Specially that i hugged Abdallah and i cried on his shoulder where i was supposed to go to Salih not Abdallah. If Salih did that with Mesha3l (his cousin) I would feel very bad and maybe did a huge enormous fight. I didnt know if i stopped feeling the love for Salih, but i knew there was still love in the back of my heart and now i just have anger over him. Thats it anger. I wanted him to give me a break. I did ask him for a break before and we did take a break but we got back togather.



Do you know that feeling you get when you feel betrayed?  Well, i felt betrayed from Salih. Why? Before we got togather, he told me, i wont hurt you i promise, i wont let you cry. I will make you the happiest person alive. WOOW! And who made me cry now Mr. Salih? ..



After about 1 hour of thinking, i decided to open my laptop and check my Facebook account, or maybe my ask account (www.ask.fm/Blogger16 <-mine!). I logged in my Facebook account, i have 4 Friend Requests:


Mohammed Al X    no mutual friends


Abdallah Al X       2 mutual friends


Manal Al X          45 mutual friends


Talal Al X            no mutual friends

I didnt know any but Abdallah Al X was my cousin so i accepted him. Manal Al X has 45 mutual friends which where from my school so i accepted her, i probably know her from school but i forgot her name or something. I am done of Facebook, updated my status too "Boring Summer."and logged out.
Opened my Ask account..


7 QUESTIONS

15 LIKES



Wow. I opened my 7 Questions they where like this.

I didnt use my real name on Ask i just wrote : Yara Somethin'=)


1) How old are you, beautiful <3_<3??

-15.

2) Whats your full name?

-Yara Somethin'=)

3) Which school?

-None of anyone's buisness ;p.

4) Share please : (www.arandomlink;p.com)

-Sure :).

5) Can i have your BBpin ?

-Go2Hell.

6) Saweely Likes please !

-Okay!

Then i saw this question that my palms started to sweat and my heart started to beat.

7) Dont publish this:
I know something about you. Something that might get you in very much trouble. I want you. I want you for me, and only me. If you dont leave Mr. S (;. Im going to have to tell your parents about it, and tell all your school. Btw, I have your phone number and BB pin. Its: 0505**** and Bb Pin: ABC3EBD (sorry for the stupid pin:$). You will be getting some messages from me. But i wont tell you who i am until you do some stuff for me k baby? ;) <3 A7bk haa ! Latensane ! Tell anyone and your brother, Ameer, wont stay with you okay? ;) <3


Oh oh. My heart started to beat against my chest. It wasnt any joke! This is my number and my BBpin!! Who is he?! Could it be any of my friends pranking me or something?! No way! Hessa and Faisal are the only 2 who know about this!! Who could this guy be?! I quickly logged out and started crying my eyes out....